My current emphasis: how to make good habits and break bad ones (really)

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Tag Archives: "character"



Questioners, What Questions Do You Ask About Your Habits?

Every Wednesday is List Day, or Quiz Day, or Tip Day. I posted the other day about “Are you a people-pleaser?” This question is related to the  Four Tendencies framework, which I develop in Better Than Before, my book on habit change. (To hear when it goes on sale, sign up here.) A key piece of self-knowledge — which is …


Secret of Adulthood: Being Giving Can Be a Form of Neediness.

Further Secrets of Adulthood:   I keep meaning to write an Assay post about this…it’s a deep issue. Do you find this to be true? That sometimes, when people give too much, or go too far out of their way to be helpful or thoughtful, it’s burdensome? In part, this is because of the extremely strong psychological phenomenon of reciprocation: …


Quiz: Are You an Upholder, a Questioner, a Rebel, or an Obliger?

Every Wednesday is Quiz Day, or Tip Day, or List Day. This Wednesday:  Quiz: Are you an Upholder, a Questioner, a Rebel, or an Obliger?  In the course of writing my book about habit-formation, Before and After, I’ve come up with a character framework. (To hear when the book goes on sale, sign up here.) I have to say, I’m …


Rebels, If You Feel Like It, and It Would Be Fun for You, I’d Love to Hear Your Perspective.

For my book Before and After, about habit-formation, I’ve been developing my framework of the four Rubin Tendencies. I’m obsessed with understanding these tendencies. (If you want to be notified when the habits book is available for pre-order, sign up here.) In a nutshell: the Rubin Tendencies describe how people tend to respond to expectations: outer expectations (a work deadline, …


What Kind of Person Are You? The Four Rubin Tendencies.

Back by popular demand–the four Rubin Tendencies (I keep changing the name of this framework. Any suggestions or comments welcome. Do you like the Rubin Character Index Better?) It’s very important to know ourselves, but self-knowledge is challenging.  I’m like a Muggle Sorting Hat! I sort everyone into four categories, which describe how people tend to respond to expectations: outer …